Think you are smarter than 5th grade? Think again

On this 312^th birthday of the City of Joy, a leading daily organized a heritage hunt in here. Me and three of my friends- Sumesh, Devansh and Sailesh were quite excited about the entire thing as we enrolled ourselves for the hunt.

It was great fun as we drove across the city and explored some of the places that probably we’d have never come across otherwise. The journey started at 8 in the morning and by 1 P.M. we were done with it and reached our final destination. The prize distribution was scheduled at around 2.30 P.M. hence, for the next hour and a half we were to enjoy the beautiful place. We were done with the lunch and were sitting in the garden enjoying the sun, when a kid walks in and sits beside us. It all started with short discussions about the hunt and the quiz we had in the morning. Then we started talking about his school and the subjects he was studying.  He turned out to be a class five student; the conversation took a turn when we opted to check our IQ. So I asked him put up questions from what he was studying just to see how knowledgeable we are?

So here is the scenario, there is round table, on one side of which is a class five kid putting up questions and on the other side of the table are four management Graduates from ‘ the best college’ in India, not just that, the group consists of Devansh, a chartered accountant and a Company Secretory; Sailesh a Chartered Accountant with work experience in Citi Bank and YES Bank; Sumesh a Computer and Mobile App designer with a professional degree from NIIT and Me, an MSc from University of Glasgow. All claiming to be very educated with profound knowledge. This guy or as we say ‘the kid’ started shooting questions at us, History, Geography, biology, maths and what not and believe you me for 7 out of every 10 questions that he asked we either gave a wrong answer or did not have a clue at all. He kept coming up with new questions and we failed again and again to live upto it. How embarrassing could that be to sit in there with dumb faces in front of a ‘class five’ kid. If good things do come in small packages then this one surely was one awesome thing that happened to us.

When we started off in the morning we were sure that the treasure hunt would be real fun but we never knew that something like this was in store for us. This incident today did remind me of the famous saying from The Great Isaac Newton – “To myself I am only a child playing on the beach, while vast oceans of truth lie undiscovered before me.” We all might have a lot of knowledge and degrees but still have so much more around us still to be learnt.

Looking for a job? Try this

I was standing in front of the town hall waiting for someone when a descent looking guy walks up to me points at my laptop bag and says – “ hey, nice bag. Where did you get this from?

 I gently replied “I got it free with my lappy.”

Him  – “hmm nice, can you say where can I get such a bag ?”

Me – “any bag shop. This isn’t something very unique should get it easily.”

Him – “ yeah sure, but then a laptop bag would suit me best. Do you think if I approach the HCL store I can get one from in there without buying a laptop?

Me –“don’t know but should not be tough if you pay a bit to the sales man and get one from back door.” (giggles)

Him – hahahahhha

Admiring the architectural beauty of the town hall, he suddenly cropped up with another question.

Him – “so, do you work in a service industry?”

Me –“ nope, I am into real estate.”

Him – “ok. I actually got a call from NK realtors a few weeks back for a job but I wasn’t in Calcutta then hence could not respond. Do you think a person with no experience in real estate can get into its marketing?”

Me – “yeah why not. It’s not that technically complicated. You can be abreast with the knowhows in a few weeks.”

Now it started to take the heat.

Him – “so where is your office?”

Me = “Gariahat.”

Him – “can I get your visiting card?”

Me – (thinks for a while) “ na sorry it’s exhausted.”

Him – “ that’s ok. It should be getting weird for you. It all started with the bag and now I am asking for your visiting card.”

Me – “ perfectly ok. That’s how relationships build.”

Him – “Are Saturdays a half day at your office?”

Me – (by now I was sure he was looking for a job and had no special interest in my bag L) “depends. If there is work one has to stay long, else can leave early. (just to set him aback I added) Sometimes we call in staff even on Sundays if the workload demands. :D :D

Him – “that’s a bit too much don’t you think? Where exactly is your office?”

I explained to him the location, admiring his unique way of seeking a job.

Him – “ is this your second or third job?”

Me – (job??) “ nope first one.” ( I was quite liking this conversation by now)

Him – “how is the management of the company?”

Me – “ its really good. We have a very healthy work atmosphere.”

Him- “ ah if I ever meet your boss I shall say you were all praises for firm. Hahahaha it all started with a bag “.

Me – “ that should be quite obliging. Yes indeed all started with my nice looking bag.”

Him – “ but really do you think a person with no experience can get into real estate?

Me –“ yes sure. Its not complicated at all. Ok I go to go. “

The person I was waiting for arrives and I am all set to leave when he looks at the bag and repeats himself.

Him – “ your bag is really good.”

I gave a smile and moved on. I really found him interesting. The way he initiated the talk and gradually approached the major motive of his was fascinating. It reminded me of Jim Cambell ( my career advisor at the Uni) who would always say – “ 80% of the jobs are hidden and you have to dig deep to find them.”

This surely was a nice way of looking for a job.

James Bond V/s Sherlock Holmes

   

                      

John Buchan once said “every man at the bottom of his heart feels he is a born detective”. May be this is the reason why two of the finest detectives ever penned by the mankind thus remain to be the superhero of every man. No matter how powerful and charismatic the ‘batman’ ‘superman’ or ‘he-man‘ be but the style, the intelligence and the smartness of Holmes and Bond overshadows all the supernatural powers.

I have been a fan of Sherlock Holmes ever since class VII, when I first read the story of the Silver Blaze. What impressed me most about the detective from 221b Bakers Street was, the observation power, the sharpness of his mind and his wittiness. Sherlock Holmes first appeared in 1887 in A Study in Scarlet. As industrious as the state of England may be but still in the late 19^th century he had to primarily rely on his own abilities to solve cases due to lack of technological advances and gadgets. Not to forget he would consume cocaine as he believed it makes his brain stronger and sharper. Though Dr. Watson was strictly against this habit of his he continued to do so. Don’t know if it actually helps but it would be foolish to question his mental abilities. The basic concept of his dressing that includes a hat, a pipe, a long coat with a belt and a looking glass has been a trade mark detective costume for ages now.

                                         

The knowledge of chemistry, the skill of disguise and the ability to judge human nature helped Holmes crack the toughest of the mysteries much quicker than anyone can even with the help of the most advanced gadgets. The best example of which could be found in the Dying Detective where he knew exactly what the symptoms of the disease thus caused by the poison was, reacting to which he was even smarter in dressing himself up in such a way so as to look being infected. The apt use of belladonna and vaseline made him look a convincing malingerer thus defying the culprit. 

His simplicity and effortless ability of analysing the situation has been his USP in solving the anonymities of the Read Headed league, the Sussex Vampire, the speckled band and many more. Nonetheless the quintessential inputs of his medical knowledge by Dr. Watson cannot be over-looked including the time to time monetary help that he had been making to Holmes.

                                             

The other British counter-part, better known as double O seven has equally impressed me with his sheer style, brisk movements and intelligence. Unlike Holmes I haven’t read Bond stories but have sincerely been watching all the movies based on them. The manner in which he uses his gadget might make Madame M go bizarre but he himself and all his fans just love to see him do so. From Bentley to Aston martin, from BMW to Routemaster, he has mastered it all. Be it driving on wheels or with the remote as he did in Tomorrow Never Dies, his cars love him as much as he does. So is the case with his Beretta and Walther which made him the greatest small arm’s expert. Some where I once read that Ian Fleming wanted the name of his character to be dull and unromantic hence he gave it a very simple name ‘James Bond’. Wonder if he had ever thought the name ‘Bond as in James Bond’ would become the most stylish name ever making the character one of the biggest Casanova the world has ever seen. Unlike Holmes, Bond would not take drugs instead was intoxicated by women and of course vodka martini.

                      

                    

     

On one hand where we see the brilliance of his fist movement and awesome use of gun in the Golden eye and Quantum of Solace, movies like the World is Not Enough and Casino Royal proves his cerebral abilities.  

Nonetheless, just to justify my belief of a woman brain being sharper and having better decision making power I would like to point out that both these super brainy lads were outclassed by a woman each. Irene Adler whom Holmes always referred to as ‘the woman’ had outshined his master brains on several occasion. Similarly, Wai Lin of Tomorrow Never Dies had bettered Bond in both briskness and intelligence.

Having said that it still makes it so very difficult to choose between the two greats as to who was better. Both the British counterparts have had their share of fan following all throughout the world and have proved being worthy of it time and again. Where Holmes captivates a reader to maximum attention, James Bond is a visual delight. Though I am not much of a reader myself and hardly can a book capture my attention for more than ten minutes, Sir Arthur Canon Doyle indeed has created such a brilliant character which I can never resist reading. On the other hand, where the likes of Mission Impossible and other super hero movies are mere time pass for me, Bond movies are always a must watch for the plot it generates and way it is executed. 

to B or not to B

Once in every four years we have an extra working day in the month of February. This leap year though was a bit different. The extra working day was not quite welcomed, atleast not in India. As a result, a nation-wide strike was called on the 28^th day of February to get the counting of working days back to normal. 11 major Trade Unions all around the country called a ‘bharat bandh’ to protest against the Anti- labour policies and demanding a set security system for unorganised sector workers, which was well supported by opposition parties across the Indian Peninsular.  Normalcy in life amongst most of the states was affected due to the bandh.

The basic cause behind the country wide strike though was known to a very small section of the society. Everybody had their own say on the reason behind the shut-down that the nation experienced. While interacting with my peers and colleagues I realised that a ‘bandh’ was merely a holiday to them, providing an unofficial but compulsory day off from work. They had no clue about why this happened and neither did they want to know. While some took this to be an agitation against the ever increasing price of necessary goods, others believed it to be a protest of the Left party concerning the ‘Park Street Rape case’. Other versions included ‘the FDI in retail sector’, ‘anticipated fuel price hike’ ‘support for Anna Hazare against corruption’ and even the ‘child adoption case in Norway’. This surely speaks something about the imaginative Indian public but nevertheless it describes how the concept of ‘strike’ has lost its basic purpose.

Where most of the private offices and schools were officially open IT and service sectors did claim high turnout. Schools though officially were open, students took the opportunity to take a day off. I remember being a student I was always enthusiastic about a bandh or a strike. This happiness would not last for long though as I would have to attend the school on a stipulated holiday – a Saturday or Thursday as it may be to make up for the lost day. But still an unplanned off is always welcomed by kids.

The bandh saw a good very effect on the rest of the city of Kolkata as well. An all India bandh was seen after a relatively long time (last one being on July 5^th 2010, the bandh on December 1^st, 2011 was by traders against FDI and had least possible effect on other sections of the society). People felt quite relaxed and were more than happy to sit at home. More so as the day was scheduled for a decider cricket match between World Cup rivals India and Sri Lanka, fighting their way into the finals of triangular series. Interestingly team India did wonders on the pitch as they pulled off a gem of an innings with the bat. Hence the bandh indeed served as a blessing in disguise for the people of India especially for the cricket crazy Kolkatans.

While traffic was off road, sports did reign supreme. Cricket, football, badminton, basketball were seen all the way on streets and residential compounds. In certain areas like Tollygunge and Bhawanipur children flying kites could be spotted throughout the day. By dusk things were quite close to normalcy. A lot of restaurants and fast food joints were operating with decent customer pull. After a long day at home people were out on a drive with their cars, some taking the opportunity for a leisurely walk, which otherwise is next to impossible in the city.

On the other side, as usual the major sufferers that emerged out of the bandh were the retailors, the transporters and daily wage earners. The sale lost on the given day can never be achieved in future. A taxi driver or an auto driver would never be able to make up for the lost passengers on that day. Similarly, for a labourer who earns on daily basis cannot make up for the labour lost on the day of bandh. While the Trade Union called for this strike in lieu of protection of the labourers and workers they seldom do think of the loss that these people accrue in such cases. This reminds me of the lines from a song ‘Do Jassos’ – apna ghar hi phunk rahe hain, ye kaisa inqualab hai (they blowing off their own houses, wonder what kind of a protest is this?) I don’t say protesting against an issue is wrong but there should be a better way out to show the disagreement rather than a bandh where drawbacks are more prominent than the advantages.

One funny side for me about this particular bandh was the comments made by of respected Chief Minister. She was quoted speaking to the tabloids where she said  "Bandh is not the future of Bengal or for that matter the Country. The destructive culture of Bandh has ended today. Let no one have the courage to call a bandh again." Such quotes by Smt. Mamata Banerjee came as quite a shock to me. While she served in the opposition, bandh was a very frequent phenomenon and was used by her as a mojor weapon against the ruling party.
Nonetheless the more important questions that still remain unanswered are - Do bandhs serve the desired motive? do Bands have any effect on the governing body ? how do people perceive bandh?  is it yet another holiday to them or boycotting the work genuinely means that the society is in support of the cause? It is quite difficult to land up to a conclusion but bandhs I guess would continue in the manner they do whether or not it makes any sense. 

what i want before 21-12-12

As the freaks are getting louder with their words about the world coming to an end by this December, I here am thinking of what shall I be doing in the next 355 days before it’s no more.

To start with –  a full on furious drive at a F1 track. High speed car zipping around at a speed of above 200 kmph, eyes on the speed-o-meter, hands on the wheel, legs all guns blazing at the accelerator – no brakes to be applied. Wrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. And now with a proper race track here in Delhi this should not be a tough ask for myself J.                 

Next I would want to sky-jump, of course with all the safety gadgets hanging around me. I want feel the fascination of the air hitting onto my face. Look at the earth from a height of say 2000 meters. Sliding in the air, waiting to hit the earth hanging on a parachute…… no fear of death wtf the world is coming to an end in a few days anyway. :p.

Before it all ends I want to get on stage for that one last time. Perform my last theatrical act. Hear my voice eco it the auditorium. Want to feel that nervousness, the jittery of getting on the centre stage and enjoy the moment.

June this year I’ll be desperately hoping to see Sharapova lift the Roland Garros Trophy. The only big title that she hasn’t managed to achieve till date. This shall be one of the happiest moment in the life of any MaSha fan. May lord let this happen.

Last and the most important of all, I would sincerely want to get back to my first crush and express my feelings which I guess I never could but hopefully before it ends I’ll be able to gather my guts to do so .

Some other small and rather impossible things I would want to see before world ends  includes – India playing FIFA world cup, Kasab being hanged to death and Anna getting his Lok Pal bill passed. :D

I don’t know whether it’s a rumor or the world actually is going to end on 21^st December 2012, but if it does I don’t want to regret the fact that I could not do things that I really wanted to before it’s all over and even if it ends no hard feelings from me if at all I manage to complete this ‘to do’ list . 

I miss being a ‘student’

Throughout my schooling days, I wanted to grow up and get rid of the formal education. Going to school then college and finally to the university – pheww life was killing.  Home-works, class-works, exams, viva getting up early, those uniforms, discipline and what not; and after all these people all around would say school life is the best life and all I could respond was – BULLSHIT.

Apparently for the past 20 years I wanted it to end and now that it is over, within 3 months I miss being a ‘student’. I miss spending time with friends, I miss those lunch breaks when we would share our tiffin, those 10 mins chat after school got over, playing in the school bus, waiting for vacations to come and then desperately wanting it to get over when we could get back to the class. Then face the scolding and punishments as I would always have pending holiday home-works :p. All the fun I had in class trips right from the one to Shantiniketan in class 6 to one in Aviemore when in the University. Those high school crushes, fights with friends, arguments, bunking of classes, sleeping in the early morning lectures (spl in Xavier’s)  life was so much fun.

All of sudden, I am not a student anymore. I don’t get vacations. Even Sundays are not holidays. No one scolds me when I don’t do my home-works, actually I don’t get any home-work. No more friends around, everyone is so busy with their lives. Yes I don’t have semester exams anymore but now every day is an exam. Have to prove my metal every given moment. And strangely I don’t even get notes or books to prepare for such exams. Now I understand how much fun school life was.  A few months back whenever I came across a student I would feel sorry for him/her as they had years of torture to come their way. Now when I see a student I feel pitty on myself as those fun filled ‘torture’ would never come back in my life.  

Being a foreigner at home

After spending a marvellous year in Glasgow I came back home last week. I was quite excited as I landed at the Calcutta airport and got a feel of being home after such a long time. I was happy to be back and relive the wonderful life as I used to all these years but to my greatest astonishment, things around were so not same. When I went to Glasgow, things were not this strange though it was an alien country, may be because I was expecting stuffs to be different hence I was prepared. But when I came back home it should have been normal which wasn’t to be. Since the very moment I landed in India I could notice the difference. I could sense being a foreigner in my own home-land, strange but true. The journey from Howrah bride and the Clyde arc and back to the Howrah bridge had changed things completely. Don’t know what the change was? The actual view or my point of view but certainly things around were not the same.

Daily activities which I was so accustomed to, now seemed outlandish. Using plastic money instead of cash was so not desired, if at all I used my card for making payments it was just a swipe without having to enter the PIN. So card becomes as vulnerable as cash, if I lose It it’s like losing hard money.  Yes cakes were available in bakeries but local sondesh and misti doi would reign supreme. Since childhood I loved 5star but all of a sudden I was missing Racer and did not want it to be replaced. I started to feel how inexpensive things were. A tenner currency note seemed to be nothing (practically valueless). Forcing myself through a crowd of people to avoid queuing was so wired and unacceptable for me now. Honking while driving was another irritating aspect, though I would do it so often a year back, now it would get the hell out of me. Partying all day long without sipping a single drop of alcohol sounded baseless. How was this possible? This indeed was one big change in me - soft drinks getting replaced by the harder ones. The ‘T’ that initially would be ThumsUp, now more often represented Tennents.

 

One of the modules in the university taught me how to overcome cultural barrier if you visit a foreign land. It explicitly told about the ways in which an expatriate should behave and perform so as to adjust in an unknown society but nowhere have I ever learnt about how to react or mold oneself if s/he faces such barriers in the own home land. This very experience has come along as quite a shock. On one hand where it somehow shows that I have learnt something in Glasgow and have grasped what I intended to, while the other side of the coin depicts a fear of having changed my very identity and base. I am sure it’s just a matter of time and I should get back into the groove within weeks and then things would be as normal as they always were. Till then I guess the best I can do is enjoy being a foreigner in my own homeland.